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10 Things guys secretly hate about kissing

December 12, 2016
Dosh Momo
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Home Bizarre

10 Things guys secretly hate about kissing

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Kissing is the foundation of foreplay. Kissing leads to making out, and making out leads to dry humping, which means sex, which means… well, that’s where it ends. But even still, there are some things that can happen during kisses that are less than ideal.

1. Everyone thinks they’re good at it, but not everyone is actually any good.Kissing is a talent, and like a lot of commonplace activities that still require skill (cooking, driving, dancing, etc), people don’t like to admit they might not be that great at it. And they sure as hell don’t want to be told they’re not good at it. So it’s entirely possible that he’s either stuck with someone who isn’t good at kissing OR he’s not good at kissing and no one ever wanted to tell him.
2. Getting a tongue shoved down his throat. Tongue is good. Choking him to death with it? Bad. The goal isn’t to get your tongue as far down his throat as possible. Please be careful.
3. Kissing for way too long. At a certain point, kissing is going to lose his attention. Then his mind wanders to the dirty laundry coating his floor, and then when the last time he washed the shirt he’s currently wearing was, then…
4. Chapped lips. If you’re not liberally applying chapstick, it’s like making out with a belt sander.
5. The very real issue of bad breath (yours or his). No one is more cognizant of the state of their breath than single people who could potentially make out with someone new. It’s a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it’s good to know you’re not blasting people in the face with awful breath. A curse because you have to spend a ton on mints and gum.
6. Accidental eskimo kisses. Making out is a delicate dance. If you have the wrong partner, you’re going to smush your noses into each other constantly. It’s like stepping on each other’s toes…but with noses.
7. Getting tangled in your glasses. If one person has glasses, it’s not a big deal. But if two big ol’ four-eyed nerds are making out with each other, those things are going to unceremoniously smack against each other. Take your glasses off (seductively) before making out.
8. Accidentally making out with your hair. If you’ve got long hair, there’s a good chance it’s getting right in the way of your mouths exploring each other. Y’all are about to eat hair.
9. When you don’t kiss back. The only thing worse than being outright shut down when he goes in for a kiss is having you just stand there and dead-lip him. So close and yet… so far.
10. Wondering if your eyes are open while his are closed. You close your eyes when you kiss other people. It’s standard. It’s polite. And it’s vulnerable. What if you’re staring at him like a weirdo while he’s kissing and he doesn’t know it? What if he opens his eyes to check, but it turns out your eyes were closed and then you open your eyes and you think he was staring at you the whole time like a weirdo?

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