Despite standing by her allegations of abuse against Johnny Depp, Amber Heard says she still loves her ex-husband.
The revelation comes from the second installment of Heard’s in-depth interview with Savannah Guthrie on NBC’s TODAY show. The first segment on Tuesdaysaw the ‘Aquaman’ actress describe seeing crowds of people waving signs calling for her death during the trial.
On Wednesday, she again stood by the allegations of violence to which she testified to at trial—but said she still has romantic feelings for Depp:
I love him. I loved him with all my heart. And I tried the best I could to make a deeply broken relationship work. I couldn’t. No bad feelings or ill will towards him at all. I know that might be hard to understand, or it might be really easy to understand. If you’ve ever loved anyone, it should be easy.
Heard also used the interview to say that she remained fearful that Depp—with whom she shared a four-year relationship before splitting in 2016—might sue her again.
She said:
I’m scared that no matter what I do, no matter what I say or how I say it, every step that I take will present another opportunity for this sort of silencing, which is what I guess a defamation lawsuit is meant to do. It’s meant to take your voice.
Moreover, she admitted that the trial fulfilled Depp’s promise in a text message that she would see “total global humiliation” if she pressed ahead with her accusations.
She said:
I’m not a good victim, I get it. I’m not a likable victim. I’m not a perfect victim. When I testified, I asked the jury to just see me as human and hear his own words, which is a promise to do this. It feels as though he has.
Asked about what she’ll do now, Heard said:
I get to be a mom like full-time, where I’m not having to juggle calls with lawyers.
Guthrie questioned how she would one day go about explaining what she’d been through to her 1-year-old daughter, Oonagh Paige Heard.
Heard answered:
I think no matter what, it will mean something. I did the right thing. I did everything I could to stand up for myself and the truth.
Heard’s interview with Savannah aired in two parts Tuesday and Wednesday this week on TODAY and airs in a special this Friday on ‘Dateline.’